What Determines Your....

"Happiness is: Not a sale or a commission. Not an economy or a budget. Not a yes or a no. Not a game winning hit or a last second touchdown. Happiness is a way of life that is inside you at all times. It helps you get over the tough times, and helps you celebrate the special times." I got this in an email that my mom had sent me today. In it, it asks you several rhetorical questions about what is holding you back from being happy. One of the main things that people often say that is one of the biggest reasons for them not being happy is the word "after." We often say "well after a new job, or after a new house, a new car...." but that's not what's really holding us back. We are holding ourselves back. We long to be happy, to have peace and to fill a void that lies deep within us, but nothing can fill that gap or void except God. Once we are His there is an amazing joy and happiness that nothing on this earth can or could ever possibly fill or compare to.

Happiness can not be bought or sold, it's not something that you find on a grocery store shelf. Maybe you can find it at the grocery store in a smile or a helping hand. When a complete stranger is walking by and offers to bring your empty cart up for you. Happiness is something that we as humans long for, all of us. We want to feel that we belong somewhere. We want to feel include and we want to more importantly feel loved. Many of us feel that we only get happiness when we have a husband, or children, a nice house, the newest car, when we are equal to the Jones'. In God there is hope, peace, love and more importantly happiness. Trust and He will lead you and make your path known to you! Stay strong and God bless....

WOW!

Words cannot describe my feelings right now. I was reading my friend Jared's blog from the other day, and he was talking about how men don't really value a women or at least how he doesn't really show her who she is in Christ. Along with his blog came the video for a song called "A More Beautiful You." It made me stop and wonder...how many women out there feel the same way I do when it comes to being imperfect and flawed, not having that perfect body, or the perfect skin?! I know as Christians we are supposed to live above that standard that the world puts on us, but at times we do let it get to us, because it is rubbed in our faces on an everyday basis on how you have to be that size 2 and have the perfect skin and hair. In this moment it struck me, God has fearfully and wonderfully made us, we are perfect in His eyes, because of the price that He paid with His son.

In Jared's blog he also says that a women is perfect based on her heart, not her status, money or anything else that the world deems as important. I also think that many times we as women, when we talk to one another so often are the words "well did you see so and so gained some weight since the last time I saw her..." I know the words are exactly directed at us, but it gets our minds thinking that if they talk about another women like that, then what are they saying about me?! We as women should encourage one another, help build someone up instead of tearing them down. Just like what we should be doing to everyone else in the world. Jesus said in scripture that if a man should strike you on your right cheek turn your left one to him for him to strike that one too! It's not about the eye for eye, or tooth for tooth! It's about loving one another, and more importantly showing them the love of Jesus! Many God bless you..... 

My Bad

I know I haven't been very good at this blogging thing for like 2 months...let me recap everything that happened! I finished my freshman year of college and by George I did it!! This past semester has been great and I loved every minute, and every second of it!! Chapel was amazing and while at times you get dry, you have amazing friends that build you up, and you find your grove again! Or God just puts you in another grove and you get so much closer to Him.  My friends are just great and I totally believe they were sent from God! If you told me 5 years ago that my best friends were going to be from California, Texas, and Missouri, I would have laughed in your face and said that you were crazy! Never in a million years would I imagine that I would be were I am, and have such an awesome group of friends! 

For Valentine's Day Chelsea got me a white regular tattooed Molly, and I named him Bruce. Then for my birthday I got a peach colored Betta, and named him Carlos Ferdinand Campeaze and I also got a little goldfish named SunShine! They are my little family while away at college. Being 16 hours away from home, you have to have some kind of family and with the girls and then the fish they are my family away from home! Let's see.....I'm home now just for the summer and then I head back on the 15th of August, so it's about 3 months and 3 days away! I have to give myself something to look forward to! It's bittersweet, because I miss my family, but while I'm home I miss everyone at school!! Soon my friends, soon!! Well I think that's all for now! 

It amazes me how God really provides and reveals himself to me everyday! Take yesterday for example, I just wanted to call this place to get some information about the job, and I got an interview and the job all in one day! I really needed it and God provided! It's making $16 an hour, so I can save up and just pay the bills that I need to pay and also pay for college! God just blows my mind on an everyday basis! I think I already said that, but I'm still beside myself...I know I shouldn't be, because I shouldn't limit God....but He is amazing!! God bless and have a great day!!

OOO, Home

Oh how sweet 'tis to be home....It's been awhile since I lasted blogged, but there has been so many things that have come up along the way as usual! For two weeks I have stayed up until about 2 in the morning and then turn around and wake up at 5 so I could finish papers or study....it's been stressful to say the least. For the past two nights though I haven't had any homework or anything to do, so I got to pack and get some sleep! Yesterday I got to fly home and get to spend Easter with my family, well kind of. I have to fly back on Sunday morning so I don't get to totally spend Easter with them, but it gives me sometime with them! Both of my flights arrived early and so that meant I got home earlier, it was great! My grandparents are coming down tomorrow and my brother is coming up then too....I'm so excited to see everyone and just be able to spend time with them!!! 

What Do I Have To Offer?

How can something that felt so right, now feel so wrong? Coming to CBC has really messed with me. I had everything planned out and just everything was mapped out, and now I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing. I know I'm not here by mistake or accident, and that God has put me here for an exact reason, but right now it's just not coming in clear. The song Strength Will Rise As We Wait Upon the Lord just popped into my head and right now, I need to wait upon Him. I know He hears everything I say and He knows exactly what I'm going through and how I feel....But I just have to let be in His timing and not when I feel He should do it. It's not easy to say the least, but I am depending on His strength and His alone!!! I thank God for continuing to bless me and pour into my life, but mostly sending me people or bringing them into my life for support! God bless....

Home, Sweet Home

Well I made it home and in one piece! It was a long trip coming down to the end of the journey!! I never sleep when I travel for some odd reason, and so everyone was like "just sleep please!!," and I'm like "no really I can't!!" Ever since I was little I could never sleep on a road trip, and so I would stay up all night talking to mom while everyone else was sleeping! After we dropped Josiah off I took over driving and it was like an hour later I just couldn't stay awake!! I had to pee really bad and we needed gas, so Matt said that he would take over driving until we dropped Amy off and then I took over again because it was only like 30 minutes from home at that point. So we pull in to my house at 6 o'clock and I'm getting out of the car and it's freezing, so I turn to Matt and I'm like quick hand me my pants!!! He was laughing and he goes, so you know how awful that sounds?! But I was in shorts and a t-shirt!! So I put my sweatpants on and we make a run to the door where my dad is waiting to leave for work!!! Mom was in the kitchen making coffee and all we really wanted to do was crash!!! So I show Matt his room and I was planning on staying up, but I was sitting next to mom on the couch and she pushed me over and I was out!! Until she came and woke me up about an hour later to tell me Molly had been jumping on Matt and he was now up!! I felt so bad, but it was good timing considering we had to eat and get him to the train station!! So Saturday was a very eventful day to say the least!!! I have five more days until I have to go back and for now I'm spending as much time with the family as possible!! God bless!!

I'll Love You Tomorrow

Tomorrow is going to be filled with stress, excitement, and all the good things that come along with traveling for 16 hours with some of the best people ever. I have a New Testament test at 7:30 and then my two other classes we aren't doing anything but watching movies and playing games. Then I'm heading to chapel and sitting with my traveling buddies. We are then going to run to Zee's to get a to go lunch and head out on the road! We have already decided the gas situation, driving rotation, and all the little details that come along with it. We are dropping Josiah off first, then Amy and then Matt and I are going to my house to crash for a couple hours and then I'm taking him to the train station. 

Then on the way back here, I'm picking Matt up on Friday from the train station, he is spending the night. Then it's bright and early, we are heading out at like 3 am. We have to pick Amy up first and then we are heading to the turnpike. We will get to St. Louis at about 3 to pick Josiah up at the airport. But it's going to be nice to be home and just be able to spend time with my family. I can't wait to be able to talk to my mom and dad face to face. I love being able to sit down and have a conversation and just fellowshipping with them. It's the best thing ever. Don't get me wrong I can do it over the phone, but I love it more when it's face to face!!! I'm just excited in general. Please pray that we have a safe trip home and we have extremely great time!! God bless....